Family mediation is a process in which an independent, professionally trained mediator helps you work out arrangements for children and finances following separation.
Child-inclusive mediation provides opportunities for children and young people to have their voices heard directly during the process of mediation. This helps them to feel respected and listened to and, at their request, to assist parents or carers to receive, understand and take account of the child’s messages and/or suggestions regarding decisions and arrangements for them.
The purpose of child-inclusive mediation is to give children a ‘voice’ rather than a ‘choice’. The decision making process will always remain with the adults.
Child inclusive mediation: Why is the voice of a child important in mediation?
In March 2022 the Healthy Relationship Education and Healthy Relationship Transitions Project[1] led by Professor Anne Barlow at the University of Exeter was published (the HREHRT project). The research confirms that one of the barriers to a greater uptake of child-inclusive mediation is due to parental reluctance to engage in the process because of a wish to shield children from what is viewed as the adult dispute. Contrary to this view, the research shows that children want their voice to be heard. Previous research has also shown, and that child-inclusive mediation ameliorates the adverse effects of parental separation on children by reducing parental conflict (McIntosh et al., 2008; Fortin et al., 2012).
The HREHRT project explored young people’s experiences of child-inclusive mediation and found:
- Children wanted a voice in the decision-making process about arrangements when parents separate.
- Young people and professionals strongly supported the inclusion of children’s rights when parents separate within the relationship education curriculum, given the large numbers affected.
- Young people feel they are more resilient than adults give them credit for in handling issues.
- Having your voice heard as a young person in a parental mediation is empowering and cathartic, bringing mental health and well-being benefits.
- Speaking to an empathetic third party was an opportunity to discuss things they felt unable to raise with their parents, reducing anxiety.
- Inclusion in mediation signalled parents cared about their opinion, helped them understand options and improved children’s communication with parents.
[1] For a copy of the report use the following link ResearchGate.
The right of a child to have their views expressed
Article 12 of the United Nations Convention on the Right of the child establishes the right of every child to freely express her or his views, in all matters affecting her or him, and the subsequent right for those views to be given due weight in accordance with the child’s age and maturity.
Article 12.1
Parties shall assure to the child who is capable of forming his or her own views the right to express those views freely in all matters affecting the child, the views of the child being given due weight in accordance with the age and maturity of the child.
Article 12.2
For this purpose, the child shall in particular be provided the opportunity to be heard in any judicial and administrative proceedings affecting the child, either directly, or through a representative or an appropriate body, in a manner consistent with the procedural rules of national law.
Is there an age limit for child-inclusive mediation?
Child-inclusive mediation is available for young people aged 10 and over.
How does child-inclusive mediation work and what is the process?
Once a referral has been made to a mediation service you will be invited to a Mediation Information Assessment Meeting (MIAM). At this meeting the mediator will assess if there are any safeguarding issues, your child’s capacity and ability of the parents to take on board the child or young person’s feedback. At this meeting information will also be given about consent, the role of the mediator, confidentiality, and boundaries of the process.
Your mediator will talk to you about how your children can contribute, and if you both agree, the mediator will arrange to meet with your children. These meetings will usually take place in a neutral place such as the office or in school.
The mediator must remain impartial in a meeting with a child or young person and must remain neutral as to the outcome of mediation. The mediator does not represent the child or act as the child’s advocate.
The meeting with the children is confidential and they decide how their views and opinions are relayed back to you. Mediators only report back what the child or young person has asked the mediator specifically to convey.
How do I find a mediation service who offer child-inclusive mediation?
The Family Mediation Council (FMC) is a not for profit organisation that maintains a professional register of family mediators. It doesn’t provide mediation itself or recommend a particular provider. Below are details of the mediation organisations who are members of FMC and links to their websites and links to find your nearest mediator.
Resolution
Resolution – Mediation (resolution.org.uk)
To find a mediator: Resolution – Find a mediator
National Family Mediation
Child Inclusive Mediation | National Family Mediation (nfm.org.uk)
To find a mediator: National Family Mediation – Find a mediator
College of Mediators
College of Mediators – Mediation (collegeofmediators.co.uk)
To find a mediator: College of Mediators – Find a mediator
Family Mediators Association
Family Mediators Association – What is mediation (thefma.co.uk)
To find a mediator: Family Mediators Association – Find a mediator
Conclusion on child-inclusive mediation
Research has shown that children want a voice when it comes to the arrangements to be made for them on separation and that having their voice heard in child-inclusive mediation is empowering and brings mental health and well-being benefits. Furthermore, it also enables parents to better co-parent through their separation and reduces conflict.
The team at Watson Morris can support you with mediation and child-inclusive mediation. For an initial free no obligation discussion to see how we can help please contact us.
Written by Caroline Watson
March 1, 2024
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